My guardian angel has left me to hang again,
Seems like he always finds the perfect time,
To turn his head and forget that I even exist,
Without any explanation, without one sound,
Yeah, you have fucked me again dear friend,
Is it too far out of my realm to ask you why,
Each mistake I make seems like a coincidence,
And why you’ll only kick me when I am down?
There is no telling what I’ve done to deserve,
Complete apathy from the people closest to me.
I feel eyes burning holes, waiting for one slip,
Wearing shoes covered in oil as I walk on ice.
My past is dark, the future darker I’ve heard,
Happiness, fortune, friends, merely a dream,
Reality is the revolver with the super glue grip,
And the bull’s-eye painted in between my eyes.
Polaroid’s filled with everything but memories,
Outlines of people, with no identifiable faces,
Houses without numbers, cars without plates,
Summers without sun, I think I like it this way.
The past will always be one giant blur to me,
If only I had amnesia like God, I could erase it.
It is the only way to fix all of these mistakes,
That made me the piece of shit that I am today.
I have always been able to tell right from wrong,
But I never learned to make wrong things right.
It’s kind of hard to find the right words to say,
If nobody in the world possesses an open mind.
Fuck love, please just forget me when I am gone.
I think I’ve done enough damage in my short life,
For days to be ruined at the sound of my name.
Only I can seem to fuck up such a simple design.
I can answer all of your questions confidently,
Yet I draw a blank whenever I question myself,
I can tell you exactly what mistakes not to make,
Since I feel like I have made them all already.
Stop signs and those blinking orange warnings,
Tell me I’m on a self-destructive road to hell,
And I am confident that I’m anything but okay,
My seatbelt is fastened, I am far from ready.
Making excuses for my mistakes has gotten old,
But I’ll never be strong enough to admit them.
It’s always been easier to beg for forgiveness,
Than it has been to reveal that I am a fuck up.
It is all in my head or something I’ve been told,
And I’m counting down the days until the end,
I am searching for the stimulation in this myth,
I am reaching out for a way to touch the sun.
I’m a devout heathen, since I have total faith,
Everything that I’ve ever known has been a lie.
Love, humility, honesty, and trust are illusions,
Instilled in the brain at a damaging young age.
Everything I’ve been taught has been a waste,
I never learned a fucking thing until I realized,
Putting my heart to use only causes confusion,
Creating all these mistakes that I cannot erase.