No right turns, only a constant left,
I am starting to feel dizzy here,
I keep walking on this sidewalk,
On an endless quest for answers.
This feels like progress except,
I’ve paced in circles for years,
I even traced my path with chalk,
A step ahead is ultimately reverse.
The elderly look out their window,
And shake their heads in dismay,
Because I search for an answer,
To apparently the exact problem,
They have abandoned decades ago,
But they don’t have the nerve to say,
Whatever I am truly looking for,
Will elude me just as it has them.
Wrinkles becoming more prevalent,
With each seemingly useless step,
These years just keep tacking on,
Answers are getting harder to see.
Been searching for myself since,
I could distinguish life and death,
I know I am alive but I feel gone,
Gradually losing touch with reality.
Mirrors have become meaningless,
Just another way to antagonize me,
No way to decipher these words,
Spelled out clearly in plain sight.
Shots in the dark have all missed,
Today’s forecast is looking cloudy,
With a chance of not trying anymore,
And succumbing to the fabled light.
Answering questions with questions,
Decisions feel like an elaborate setup,
I’m not exactly sure what is wrong,
And I have no clue of how to fix it.
I pull myself in a hundred directions,
Hoping one day things will look up,
Been hunting for myself for so long,
I will gladly take any omen as a gift.
I have no clue of what I really need,
Or how to find the pleasure in pain,
What I need I can’t find in others,
I need to dig deeper within for help.
Following chalk lines isn’t for me,
It will always wash away in the rain,
It’s like having both eyes covered,
And knowing I will never find myself.