In Absence Of I

Been trudging down this desolate road for decades,
The vultures are circling but the body still persists.
Life, love, and everything precious eventually fades,
Still pretending there’s more to a life than this.
The proverbial pen is starting to run out of ink,
Feels like everything has been told in this story.
Keep tapping the same well for something to drink,
But one day soon there will be nothing left for me.
Star gazing for answers but one can only question,
Is it worth it to keep fighting or quit while ahead?
The sunlight will be here soon to blister the skin,
But tonight nobody will be here to mourn the dead.
Blinded by the haze as the sun begins to ascend,
Stabbing through the dirt aimlessly for a sign.
Can’t tell where cancer begins and happiness ends,
Boundaries have been blurred for such a long time.
Haven’t cracked a smile in so many miles past,
Glimmers of hope appear in the allure of death.
Every fucking step hurts a bit more than the last,
How much tolerance for all of this pain is left?
The leeches keep taking but there’s little to give,
Been selfless far too long and it’s catching up.
The surroundings are sucking away the will to live,
Muscles are lapsing as eyes flicker slowly shut.
No clouds or trees to provide any kind of relief,
Hitting a wall in an endurance marathon to survive.
Looking for another soul to share in this grief,
Or at this point, one good reason to stay alive.
Survived so long in the jungle with minimal wear,
Just to find out nobody else inhabits this island.
Visitors from afar look in but none of them dare,
To help fend off any of the demons trapped within.
Can’t begin to explain all of the built up anguish,
When nobody will dare to set foot anywhere close.
Suicidal, depressed, lonely, scared and helpless,
Is this finally the end? Does anyone care to know?
Been hearing the music tailing off in the distance,
This swan song is winding down to the bitter end.
Time has come to finally atone for all of the sins,
Don’t want to travel down this fucking road again.

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