Still spiraling further out of control,
I remember the man I used to be, he’s gone.
I try to sweep up the pieces of my soul,
Pour it down the drain, suck it up, carry on.
Trying to leave this negativity on paper,
It’s getting hard writing to no one at all,
While believing there’s gonna be a savior,
Who thinks this ink hurts less than scars.
Every so often I find that glimmer of hope,
That will keep me from ending it all at bay,
The sad part is you and I both already know,
In only a matter of days you will wash away.
Peeling off the skin to reveal underneath,
I see I made a monster when I gave you an ego.
Looking for your value outside of the sheets,
Fucking worthless as we both already know.
Peeking above waves as despair pulls me down,
I’ve gotten myself in too deep to swim ashore.
You think it’s gone too far even when I drown?
You mean more to me than I do to myself anymore.
I just want to know when I’m wasting my time,
As good as it gets ain’t fucking good at all.
There has to be more to it than bleeding me dry,
That keeps you tripping me every time I fall.
I’m cold and I’m ugly and nothing can save me,
I don’t even feel like I’m making sense anymore.
Distress calls aren’t getting through it seems,
At this point what am I even treading water for?