It’s life as usual, just like always,
No changes for better or worse,
I do not need to live, most days.
It is like beating a dead horse,
Trying to get the issues across,
To people too ignorant to figure,
Without hearing about the cost,
If I want to release the trigger.
…You said I must be happy.
It’s life as usual, it never ends,
The days get harder, get longer,
The open wounds never do mend,
And I’m not getting any stronger.
The words said only undermine,
And you think it’s good for me,
You miss out on the bottom line,
This is not who I wanted to be.
…I only wanted to be happy.
It’s life as usual, still a waste,
All that was done didn’t justify,
Even a lone drop, even one taste,
Of time when I don’t need to die,
To feel loved, wanted, accepted,
By those who are closest to home.
The rejection in being neglected,
Is everything that I have known.
…How is it I can be happy?
It’s life as usual, all drawn out,
With no escape, and no reason,
To deter the inevitable doubts,
Also considered to be treason.
Everything was just to satisfy,
Yourself at whatever my cost,
In the end I want to know why,
When all I loved has been lost,
Why do you tell me to be happy?