Another letdown, from the one I love the most,
I am one hundred percent sure that she knows,
The key to my heart, and the way to destroy it,
All in the shape, the size of an unexpected gift,
That I never once thought I’d recieve from her,
If I meant anything at all inside her small world.
Another setback, in my hopeless pursuit of hope,
She’s well aware she’s my bullet, she’s my rope,
That she will only use in my most vulnerable time,
Of need, of reconciliation to a God I’ve denied,
Trying to find salvation in something I can touch,
Only this God knows I was asking way too much.
Another disaster, mentally, emotionally, literally,
She’s fucking ruining me, she’s slowly poisoning,
My immunity, my own self-defense to the disease,
Slowly, violently, yet somehow gently killing me,
Everytime she stares at me, everytime she speaks,
And says she loves me but it isn’t what she needs.
Another dead-end, in the life, the death I chose,
She’s the color blood red inside my funeral rose,
Looking over me as I sleep silently, so detached,
From everything I ever loved, everything I had,
Since she has taken it all, she has kept it inside,
Her frigid heart, her bleak soul, her hazel eyes.
Another regret, found in the most obvious place,
I was ready, I knew she would spit in my face,
Like she has done eighty thousand times before,
She was everything to me, I was nothing to her,
And I should’ve known better then trying again,
If only I could let these selfish obsessions end.