Persistence –
The first word that comes to mind
To keep fighting a losing fight
Each and every gut wrenching night
Self depreciation churns inside
Nothing will ever be good enough
But the fuel that builds the fire
Trying to elevate myself higher
Are unrealistic goals I made up
Drag myself through my own hell
I know what I did to deserve this
Nothing left for me here to miss
There’s no chance this ends well
Persistence –
And not knowing when to cut bait
When I see the writing on the wall
But continue to give it my all
Knowing God damned well of my fate
Slowly watching their faces diminish
Looking for new ways to reach out
Reassuring them that without a doubt
They drifted off before we finished
Aimlessly casting lures into the lake
Smart fish take the worm not the hook
That’s the oldest trick in their book
Yet I never learn from my mistakes
Persistence –
Stare at the mirror in pure disgust
I’d cut off my face with a dull blade
This charade starts every fucking day
As I lick the razor and taste the rust
Self mutilation like it’s a kids game
People say blame God, I say he’s fake
Immortal men don’t make these mistakes
All undesirable people feel the same
Maybe I was born in the wrong skin
Toeing that fine line in between
Being ugly and just being obscene
But still I’ve refused to give in
Persistence –
The desire to always be the best
As the fattest bird atop the landfill
To feast on carcasses others killed
Thriving on the discards of the rest
Leading a life only the maggots envy
That weren’t fast enough to the meat
But they all have a front row seat
As a much larger predator eats at me
My wings are pulled as I’m paralyzed
Hunters are aroused by my screams
I find shelter in shit filled ravines
As I’m too stupid to give up and die
Persistence –
Waking up daily asking myself why
Wearing a smile for sixteen hours
Being void of emotion shows power
When I want to break down and cry
Life is the same shit song on repeat
With heavy static ruining the tone
I feel like a vagabond even at home
Surviving has become no small feat
Strangers tell me to keep my head up
I can’t keep asking them what for
This song I don’t want to hear anymore
But at the same time I can’t get enough