There’s violence and evil in your eyes,
And I will always fall victim to them.
Seventy million little fibs and stories,
Manufactured to make you operate.
There is a cold-hearted devil inside,
And he’s become my new best friend.
Mail mom a letter urging not to worry,
Things will never get better anyway.
Kind words meant to string me along,
Just so you can whip me over and over,
Until I wake up just to expect as much,
And I grow accustomed to this routine.
Treat me as an inmate doing no wrong,
This meager lifestyle keeps me sober,
As it makes me terrified to the touch,
Until you have had your way with me.
Fear not my love, you are not to blame.
Each of us are merely unwilling victims,
Slaves to a higher power we know not,
Pawns in the battle that can’t be won.
Together we are going down in flames.
But I will never be ashamed of my sins,
Besides you, they are all that I’ve got,
Until you quit, as the others have done.
I live one giant metaphor with no moral,
Part of why they’ve all abandoned me.
The grass will never get any greener,
At least not on this side of the fence.
I am still only a filthy fucking whore,
Trying to make this useless God happy,
Since I’m badly lacking the demeanor,
Tact, or heart I need to keep friends.
I have given a piece of myself to many,
With nothing to show for my efforts.
Yet I cannot bring myself to stopping,
I have grown too accustomed to abuse.
I am at wit’s end, and on my last penny,
But here I am, just anticipating more,
Social degradation to which I’ll cling,
Because I have nothing else left to lose.
Everything I have ever wanted is gone,
Out of reach, or going to leave me soon.
Feelings are just an ugly form of pain,
And I am the opposite of a masochist.
If you’re still here with me, hold on,
The only thing I might have left is you.
Dreams and fear might keep me sane,
But in reality I still long for happiness.