I’ve come here to disappoint you again,
Just to let you down, just to fuck up.
I’m still looking for another purpose,
But just like always, I’m wasting my time.
I won’t say sorry for what I’ve done,
So please cut the shackles from my feet.
We will not ever see eye to eye again,
But at least take the blindfold off of me.
Not a day passes by without the torment,
Of you pouring acid into these fresh cuts.
I clench my weakened hands into fists,
To hide these scars from being crucified.
I keep waging battles I have already won,
To be left here bloody, a victim of defeat.
The cell bars are cold and not easily bent,
So it is just best I stop chasing my dream.
I am pulling my hair and biting my nails,
Trying to remember what it’s like to feel.
To feel what emotion? I don’t even know.
Anger, jealousy, hatred, lust, love, agony,
They all seem to hurt exactly the same.
I feel a million knives through my spine,
Reminding me that I am no good for you.
But if not you, who would I be worthy of?
With all I had in my power I have failed,
And all the time in the world cannot heal,
The shitty feeling of unrequited sorrow,
As if you never even gave yourself to me.
If only you knew the feeling of this pain,
Oh, to crush your heart, as you did mine,
There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t give or do,
To see you in tatters over a lie called love.
I am drowning in a shallow pool of guilt,
Right here with all of my apprehensions.
I feel inferior to the outcasts of society,
I am too insulted to even lift up my chin.
I see the joke I have been portrayed as,
And only I must look myself in the face.
I’m on a leash just long enough to roam,
Before I choke myself into submission.
I cannot wash away this permanent filth,
Every time that your name is mentioned,
I cannot even spare my fucking dignity,
Without stripping down beyond my skin.
I miss you more as the days slowly pass,
My emotions have entirely gone to waste.
Of course I’m left to commiserate alone,
Since I always stick myself in this position.