Never thought I would make it this far,
I’ll be the first one to admit that much.
It hasn’t been all bad contrary to belief,
But God damn it hasn’t been great by default.
If I valued life in a home, money and cars,
The past few years have far from sucked.
Though I’m sitting here crippled with grief,
Since self depreciation is what I was taught.
Been sitting here nine summers plus the last,
Waiting to be betrayed if only I had a friend.
Salvation in suffering just like religion,
And I have been dying for your fucking sins.
Been left alone to die so much in the past,
That I am still too gunshy to trust again.
The thorns are stuck inside the incisions,
Is this where forgiveness ends or begins?
I find solace in shameful, childish things,
Such as rising above those who’ve mocked me.
At the end of it all I’m still left to wonder,
Do they feel anything quite like this hate?
I usually don’t care what tomorrow brings,
As long as they get back the same apathy,
That once upon a time dragged me under,
And turned me into the disaster I am today.
I hope you find salvation in my suffering,
Unless you are still void of any emotion.
In which case I hope you never smile again,
And I will show you around my personal hell.
One day you’ll cope with the pain I sing,
Then you’ll be overcome with the same notion,
To kick out the chair and put sorrow to an end,
And when that day comes, I’ll be doing well.