I’m trying to seclude myself,
Dilute myself, erase myself,
You know that I’m not well,
Who would you be to help?
Counting down days until,
You forget I ever existed.
I cannot swallow the pills,
If I cannot swallow this,
Complete absence of dignity,
And my total loss of hope.
My heart has failed on me,
And I’m too numb to know,
Whether you actually care,
Or if you just fake it too.
I look to the sky and stare,
As if it is hiding the truth,
Just like you are right now,
Because you are too weak,
And way too fucking proud,
To even show any sympathy.
In my shell as self-defense,
I only like to fight myself,
The pain might be immense,
Only if I still live to tell.
Self-destruct, hibernate,
Wake up and do it again,
Clench my throat, recreate,
The fine art of suffering.
Lend a hand, help me fall,
Watch me hit rock bottom,
Remind me it’s all my fault,
And I’ll be soon forgotten.
Hear the clock laugh out loud,
See my eyes fill with tears,
Tell me time is running out,
Must get my mind out of here.
Shotgun shells on the floor,
Fix the mistakes I have made,
Can’t live with this anymore,
The Lord gave for me to take.
It is a hollow point therapy,
Even after I reached out,
You were too blind to see,
When I needed you around,
You’re too busy acting cool,
To care about anyone else.
Forever I rest in this pool,
Of the remnants of myself,
And nobody will recognize,
All that I had to withstand,
As quickly as they realize,
No blood is on their hands.