Blood drips on the ground,
Slowly like twenty minutes,
After the incredible storm,
With your voice as thunder.
I am the ant that drowned,
Trying to test out my limits,
To see if I can live before,
Your puddle pulls me under.
You are the fate in my eyes,
My bad dreams coming true,
Everything I fear in motion,
And I can’t do this anymore.
This is only assisted suicide,
Hold me under ’til I’m blue,
Tears can hide in the ocean,
If I don’t ever wash ashore.
I sacrificed to you all I am,
Even if it’s not all you need,
I’m giving myself up to you,
For a piece of you in return.
I bleed to death like a lamb,
My god declined to recieve,
Being one of the chosen few,
He has left me here to burn.
Loneliness is my companion,
Seemingly my closest friend,
Having nothing is more than,
Remaining alive for nothing.
I don’t know where I begin,
If it will all come to an end,
It appears nobody else can,
Feel quite so dead, so empty.
I’m the loudest in the room,
Nobody can hear one word,
Kind of makes me feel like,
This life is all meaningless.
I am confined to this tomb,
What am I even trying for,
Living this life in hindsight,
Since it’s all I have to miss.
There is an outline of a man,
Standing where I once was,
Everything inside is missing,
But I am so far from dead.
Open up to listen if you can,
Just for this once because,
It’s the most beautiful thing,
You’ll again have never read.

Speak to me sincerely,
Just for once pretend,
No one else is around,
And no one else knows.
I will not live fearing,
I am hurting a friend,
By not making a sound,
To somebody so close.
Lay your soul on a table,
And let me decipher it,
I am tired of guessing,
Exactly what you need.
I have never been able,
To gain a steady grip,
On you without messing,
Up everything I believe.
Pretend I am the only,
Person inside this room,
I beg you to feel free,
To say or do anything.
You know how lonely,
It is living on the moon,
Which is how it seems,
When this is happening.
Don’t let your feelings,
Stop you from sharing,
What is in your heart.
I can accept anything,
If it helps the healing,
And the blank staring,
Like we’re miles apart,
In search of something.
Talk to me and release,
Your deepest concerns,
Or anything that makes,
All of this seem alright.
I’ve plead on my knees,
But I bleed as I yearn,
To know what it takes,
To keep you in my life.
Break from the strings,
Of society around you,
Do not fall down with,
A sinking ship of fools.
They still have nothing,
When I have the truth,
Cherish that as my gift,
After the ashes cool.
Close your eyes, erase,
Everything around you,
Focus on me this time,
Don’t let anyone at all,
Tell you who to hate,
I’m here ready to lose,
It’s for you to decide,
Before the ashes fall.

Breaking your heart,
Breaking your spine,
So you may feel this,
Suffering of my own.
Let me pick you apart,
Paralyze you in time,
Choke you with a kiss,
And kill all you know.
Cut open your throat,
Cut open your wrists,
To watch you bleed,
Without being saved,
Knowing the antidote,
Is only a tourniquet,
Kept from your reach,
Just to see you crave.
Sedation of the brain,
Sedation of the soul,
Take back innocence,
You once got from me.
Return to you my pain,
Until you feel so old,
Oh so fucking useless,
You can’t even breathe.
Bullet into your chest,
Bullet into your head,
I handed you the gun,
You pulled the hammer.
I do like you the best,
Seeing you here dead,
Knowing the only one,
Heart broken is yours.

This is my letter to anyone,
Who’ll open up and hear me,
Don’t fucking throw it away,
Like you always seem to do.
I don’t intend to use a gun,
To cause any harm or injury,
That seems way too cliche,
Plus it wouldn’t affect you.
Pretend that I never existed,
See if I actually give a fuck,
I never used you to measure,
My success or my own value.
I love you a lot in a twisted,
Akward way, but not enough,
To mistake pain for pleasure,
Or to be afraid of the truth.
I ask you to want me for me,
And not what I can provide,
I can find avarice or greed,
In anyone if it’s all I desire.
You’re less than you believe,
I wouldn’t notice if you died,
Unless it helps me feel free,
From this never ending fire.
I asked you to stay forever,
We knew it wouldn’t be long,
You saw my goodbye coming,
And did not change one bit.
I guess things will be better,
When I’m forever long gone.
I only ask for you to summon,
And pretend you gave a shit.

Take this life away,
I have nothing else,
Left of value to you,
Since I can’t change,
The hand I was dealt,
And follow the rules.
I have nothing here,
I am on life support,
With no need to live,
No one to hold dear,
Very little self-worth,
And nothing to give.
I wake up to nothing,
It’s gotten very old,
You don’t understand,
The agony you bring,
Treating me so cold,
When I beg your hand.
Throw this life away,
It’s too much to bear,
Alone, one more night,
Each time is the same,
You are never there,
You are always right.
I’d give you my soul,
If it’s worth a thing,
I’d give you my heart,
If it wasn’t charcoal,
I’d give you my wings,
But they will fall apart.
I just need any hope,
I can share with you,
I can harvest myself,
To help me as I cope,
Just to get me through,
One more day in hell.

Erase you, reprogram you,
Delete you from my memory,
There are only a very few,
Worth a damned thing to me.
Overwrite all of the corrupt,
Pretend you never existed,
I no longer even give a fuck,
You are dead and worthless.
Reformat my one-track mind,
So it feels brand new again,
To make you never even alive,
Muchless a so-called friend.
Clean you up, throw you away,
Like yesterday’s recycle bin,
Make me feel the same way,
As when I had my innocence.
Crop you out of the picture,
I regretfully know as my past,
You’re that perfect mixture,
Of arsenic laced on my glass.
You’re the catastrophic virus,
I’m trying to forget all about,
The kind that I will not miss,
The one I need to live without.
Open you up so I can explore,
How tiny your heart is in size,
In an attempt to do a restore,
And wipe you out of my life.
Save the very few that I need,
That might be obsolete in time,
Hoping they might set me free,
Before I forever get offline.

Thanks again for nothing, you are,
A watered down, dilluted version of,
The type of girl I tried really hard,
To give one bit of unconditional love.
You are the same disappointment I,
Promised I would not endure again.
Things are worse on the second try,
I don’t even want you as a friend.
You are the gun held near my skull,
That I know will probably misfire,
So I stay alive, however miserable,
However dead, however uninspired.
If murder was not a serious crime,
I would have to kill you for myself,
To ruin your life like you have mine,
With the only living part of me left.
I refuse to ever again come around,
I hope you think exactly the same.
Thanks again for letting me down,
It always feels the exact same way.
I hope you know that you’re useless,
Generic, and very easy to replace.
I know for a fact that I won’t miss,
Trying to be there for such a waste.

Everything that I loved about you,
Is everything I hate about myself,
I really should think things through,
Before subjecting myself to hell.
You are the needle stuck in my arm,
A habit I promised myself I’d kick,
Before it could do this much harm,
Risking everything for one last fix.
You’re the poison that will kill me,
But I cannot seem to live without.
You are still not the drug I need,
Each overdose removes any doubt.
My body rejects you like a cancer,
But I still force myself to ingest,
I know addiction isn’t the answer,
I only tell myself it’s for the best.
You’re the worst thing in my world,
Knowing you are my ultimate fate,
Still you are all that I’m alive for,
You are merely too little, too late.
I will not let you ruin what is left,
I am a stronger person than this,
I want control over my own death,
And it will not be your final kiss.
I hated every bit of our existance,
You make me feel the urge to die.
You were my repented mortal sin,
This my dear is my final goodbye.

There is a lonely man calling out my name,
Begging me to keep him company tonight,
Beneath an overpass hiding from the rain,
Trying to hold back tears under his eyes.
His face is broken and weathered badly,
Hiding a soft and soothing, calming voice,
I started to walk away as he gazed sadly,
He yelled “It’s your life, it’s your choice.”
I turned around in curiousity and in fear,
To hear exactly what it was he had to say.
I sat with an open mind and opened ears,
Claiming he can clarify all of my mistakes.
Underanalyzed thoughts poorly executed,
In the form of actions I’ll forever regret.
What is left of my small mind is polluted,
With memories of every life I’ve wrecked.
I need to keep my mouth sealed this time,
To keep from hurting you or myself again.
It hurts me inside too much for me to lie,
If I know the truth is hard to comprehend.
Only recently has it occured to me clearly,
Why exactly I fear a wild card in my life,
If I can’t decipher the few I love dearly,
From the few that are twisting the knife.
I have little faith in myself or anyone else,
When I need faith to pull myself through.
I subject those closest to me to this hell,
Only so they can suffer exactly like I do.
Most importantly I can express remorse,
But can’t say sorry because of my pride,
To anyone I have hurt through the course,
Of my life, no matter how hard I’ve tried.
I’ll die alone and miserable on this track,
If I’m too weak to change for the better.
I can’t waste all of my time looking back,
Digging the ashes that are already settled.
I nodded my head in shame to this old man,
And asked him how he knows everything,
He said to me, “You know that who I am,
Is just the person that you are becoming.”

Get the fuck away from me,
I would rather see you dead,
Than see me make you happy,
One more minute ever again.
All of those games you play,
Make me want to be with you,
All so I can spit in your face.
And tell you the honest truth,
Like you never seemed to do.
You are a waste of my time,
Your fucking stories are too,
I still don’t care if you die,
As long as you leave forever.
Let me kick you mercilessly,
While you’re below my level,
As you’ve always done to me.
Apologies won’t do anymore,
I’m beyond frustrated now,
You ignorant, useless whore.
Don’t ask what this is about,
Just like you are braindead,
If you are easily offended,
About anything I have said,
Odds are it’s regarding you.
I will leave this open-ended,
To leave you alone to assume,
And hopefully die painfully,
In a shallow pool of regret,
For once I don’t feel guilty,
Because no one is perfect…